The Enigma of Life

To say the least I'm perplexed -- not with living, but with life -- mystified that there can be such seeming opposites of joy and sadness, love and hate, worth and loss, gratitude and scorn, passion and apathy. I can be transported to the highest heights in a choral arrangement of Christmas Carols by Kings College; while at the same time experiencing the deepest sadness my optimistic heart can bear. We can look upon the splendor of a dawn; beauty of a flower; the marvel of a baby; loveliness of a woman and pay tribute to their Creator or exploit them.

I am enamored with songs of angels, awestruck with rifle recoil in the mountains, moved by the power of a low passing fighter jet -- all sounds that thrill me to the core. Yet devastated at the sound of a friend in tears at a distance -- whom I cannot hold; wondering at life lost hearing pistol shots in the city; crushed by the screams of a mother -- her son dying of shrapnel wounds; revolted by the monsters ghastly grunts of triumph at the fear of a victim. Part of the Enigma of life is this: sounds that thrill -- sounds that chill.

I am awed at the passion with which a man loves a woman even when acted in the movies, and -- as the wise man said -- one of the things that were too wonderful for him, "the way of a man with a virgin."

I am devastated at the way in which the poor, the outcast on the streets are treated; emphasized by Phil Collins, "Another day in Paradise" & Declan Galbraith's "Tell Me Why."

And yet, and yet -- I can rocket to the highest heights of heavenly bliss which I can reach, and in the next instant plummet to the deepest depths of anger or despair.

The only reason I can move so rapidly through these feelings -- the Creator fashioned me with them in the first place. No, they are not bad, not always deceitful, not wicked things I should shun, but I must grow up in them, must mature in my emotions if I am to mature in my spirituality.

What is it about us that crafts us so fickle? What within this beating chest can cause me to love so passionately or retain bitterness to such deep degree? To me -- this is the Enigma of life.

Perhaps seeking the meaning of life is where road and reality meet. I will find what I'm looking for.